You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
There are leaves in my underwear?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
