Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
