so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
