Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
