K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I have post one night stand depression
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
