we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
