so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
