im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
