This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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