how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
