If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
