9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
