Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
