Me too!
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
