dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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