don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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