I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You've changed since you got that strap on
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
