Dude my mom stole all your condoms
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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