I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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