Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I think I sprained my soul last night
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
