She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
