i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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