In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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