My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
