What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
