So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
