I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
