girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
even my farts smell like vagina
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I think I sprained my soul last night
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
