Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
