I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
