i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I wish they made helmets for livers.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Randomize
