i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
