i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
