Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
how does that bad decision feel?
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