Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
