This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
