By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
