The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
