My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
