: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
