i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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