dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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