well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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