He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
