I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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