why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
