Don't you send me to vm
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
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