The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
