how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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