I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
