Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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