Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
