it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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