wat bout pragnant strippers??
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
